An update and an explanation!

To the people who read my last post

and thought that you had missed this

big engagement announcement let me

ease your worries and tell you that

there hasn't been an official engagement announcement.

Or maybe that's what my last post was.

An engagement announcement ;)

Here's the thing, we're not sticking to cultural norms

or the status quo.

You're probably not going to see me flashing

an engagement ring all over town...yet.

You won't see engagement pictures of

us in a field with oh so perfect lighting behind us.

You won't see any of that because we're not

in the same place on this planet.

Now if we were a normal couple

that didn't have 4,000 miles in between us

then yes, you'd probably be seeing all of

those things right about now.

But we're not, so you're not!

I don't want anyone to feel like we forgot

to mention this to them before I blurted it out on my blog.

Truth is, everyone should know that

we're headed for marriage.

You just don't spend this amount of time

and money on someone you're not serious about!

And we've been serious for a long long time.

And it's time for us to move forward so we

can start living normal lives again!

And for my family and friends that read my blog

I just want to say that blogging is one of the best ways 

to get information out there to all of you!

Don't feel upset that I didn't personally come to you

and explain the happenings of my life because

we'd be there for a while and you'd regret the conversation instantly

once I start crying because this is all very stressful!

I've shed one too many tears over this already!

This isn't an easy process so please bear with me

and please pray for me because the stress and people pleasing

is really getting to me!!

I googled chronic people pleasing the other day.

Ticked all them boxes!

I'm trying to work on it!

Anyways...

Here's a little update for you all!

Tom and I are applying for the K-1 Fiance visa

so that Tom can come live in the USA for a few

years with me, married to me while I work and 

he works and get's his masters degree!

There are other facets to the plan like where

we'll live...how we'll survive on one income until

Tom gets his green card...but that's all information

that will come in the future!

So that's THE plan!

So while we are planning to get married

and do all sorts of things with our lives

it's hard to explain all of this visa information

to people who have never had to do it before.

You have to understand that I can't even get excited

about a wedding yet. I can't send invites, I can't plan anything

because before all of that happens Tom and I will

be thoroughly examined by both our governments.

The United States & The UK Governments 

get to decide if and when we get this visa!

And while I do think all will go smoothly

you just never know.

So yes, I'm going to blog about weddings

and plans and dresses and flowers and all sorts of things.

But don't think I've left you out, don't think I've forgotten to tell you.

Please remember that when this visa goes through I 

will shout all of this information at you, in your face,

because I won't be able to contain my excitement!

That is all...for now!!

Three wedding's and a Visa!!

A little less than 3 years ago I found myself

in a weird spot with a random guy that I met online.

Obviously you all know how that story progressed.

I remember when I was a teenager and I was obsessed

with all things British, especially in the form of 

a cute guy with that cute accent.

I never once dreamed that I'd actually get

to fall in love with a cute guy with that cute accent.

But I did!

Lucky me ;)

We have both grown so incredibly much

over the last couple of years and we feel so grateful

that we've gotten to spend so much time together,

to really get to know each other and to fall in love!!

We are now in a place where we need to move forward

either together or apart and obviously we're choosing together.

I don't want to live in a world without him

and I'm pretty sure he feels the same about me ;)

So as you may have noticed I've posted a whole

lot about visa's over the last couple of days.

I'm sharing with you the highs and the lows

of this whole long distance love process.

Most of the time it's fun but other times it's hard and

stressful and scary and annoying!

I never want to come across as ungrateful for these

opportunities that we have. So please don't mistake my

grief with the visa process as me being ungrateful!!

Because just knowing that there is a way

for us to be together is amazing!!

We've had to work hard for this relationship so

we're prepared for this next step.

And hopefully once this visa process is done

we will be good for a while.

We know there will be more visa drama in the next few years

but we won't worry about that until the time comes.

Our visa journey is a big deal!

It's the story of one of us packing up and

moving to another country.

Leaving friends and family all in the name of love.

So far on this blog you've gotten to see us fall in love

and now you get to see us take it to the next level!!

The marriage level!!

Oh yes!

So what are you going to see on this space

over the next couple of months?

Well I will spill the beans on our plans

which includes the Visa we've chosen.

I will also share the process of said visa.

I will post when certain paperwork is approved

and we'll all have mini celebrations as we

slowly get this visa in one of our hands.

While we're on this visa journey

I'll also be sharing wedding ideas, plans and 

trying not to go insane because we're planning

a few weddings/receptions...

OH you're probably wondering why there

hasn't been a #blessed #engagement photo with #bling.

Well long distance puts certain things ahead of others.

The ring will come, patience is a virtue ;)

I consider myself lucky to have an incredible guy by my side,

the ring is a lovely symbol that I'm excited for but

If I had to choose what gets priority right now

it would be getting a visa and they ain't cheap y'all!!

So there's that!

Some major things are in store for us
and I'm pretty pumped that I can share it on this blog.

I missed blogging and I feel like I'm getting back into it!

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

The Visa Attorney

Tonight I contacted a VISA ATTORNEY!!

Whhaaaattt??

We decided that visa's are complex things that we don't really

want to mess up because if we do mess it up then we're

basically out of luck for a good long while.

Therefore we contacted an attorney, which is a very adult thing to do.

It's also probably an expensive thing to do.

So the visa isn't cheap and my gut is telling me that

the attorney won't be cheap either...

But we're in luck because she offers a payment plan #sarcasm

This is kind of how I feel...

But instead of an overly happy Aladdin, picture this guy instead 

Less money, more problems, that is the appropriate saying...

Whomever said more money, more problems was a big ol dumbo!!

So yeeaaa I'm going to try and make an appointment with the attorney

sometime soon so we can discuss our options.

Hopefully she'll help us come to a final decision!

Also if you read this blog and you've gone through the visa process

with or without an attorney I would LOVE to hear from you!

Should we hire an attorney, can we do it ourselves??

Guess we will see!!

Have a lovely day everyone!

I laugh in the face of plans...and Visa's make me want to cry!!

As soon as I hit publish on my last blog post

the plans began to crumble around us.

WHY is this so hard???
Whhhyyyy??

We are in love, we are happy,

I'm his person, we're each other's people, loves, lobsters!!

This is it for us, we've chosen, we're decided,

we want to be together forever and ever!!

So why is every visa path so freaking complicated!!!

Why do we feel like we're doing something wrong just by being in lovvveee??

I feel stressed!!

At least that's how I felt the second half of yesterday!!

Now my feels are sunshiny, positive and just overall happy.

Mood swings are in full force over here...

The reasoning behind my peppy self is due to yet another visa.

Except this time the visa is exactly what we've been looking for!!

We were trying so hard to make the wrong visa's work

that we neglected the search for the right one.

But last night I think I found it!!

I told Tom about it today and we researched and we

both feel like it's a HUGE step in the right direction.

We will do a little more researching but it's 

possible that things could start moving pretty quickly

with us if this visa really is the answer!!

Like i've said before you just don't know what will happen

so I won't share our exact plans yet but I will

share the plans that have failed.

The first failed plan was that I was going to move to the UK.

Yea, a big move over seas was in my future for a long time

and we were so excited, we were planning for wedding's and

apartments and all sorts of exciting things.

The way to this visa was through Tom and his career.

I let you know about the money Tom had to make in his job

before we would even be able to apply for the visa.

Well turns out making that much money is hard in the UK.

Tom had a part time job working nights for a retail store on the weekends.

He hated it, a lot!! It kind of made him rethink things about what

he wants from a career...(which wasn't nights in retail)

he wants to be able to do something that will inspire him and allow him to inspire others.

So he quit his retail job and had a little bit of a breakdown and then we decided

that it just wasn't going to work for us to start out in the UK.

Instead we started to look at coming to the USA!

Tom is thinking about going back to school for his masters degree

so we started looking at student visa's.

We thought that we could get Tom over here on his student visa

and get married and then apply for Adjustment of Status that

would cut out the complicated immigration Visa.

You can actually do ALL of that.

You can get a student visa and then if you meet someone

while studying abroad you can marry them...no issues.

But since we've already been together and both border controls

know about our budding relationship we are pretty much 

not allowed to go after this visa for fear of the border control

thinking that Tom is trying to come over here for an immigration status...

Which was half of our plan...which is not allowed.

If you're getting a student visa it has to be specifically for school...

If you have underlying reasons for applying for this visa and they

find out about them then you can kiss the visa goodbye

AND they would put a year long ban on Tom coming to the US!!!

And that's where we decided to axe the student visa!!!

FYI Gifs are forever in my blogs future, I just love them!!

Anyways...so now after all of those failed attempts we finally

feel like we've figured out this little visa game and

we're pumped about it!!

I'm not going to say what Visa, or where it will lead

but it's exciting and we both feel like this is it y'all!!

Phew!

I'm exhausted! 

More to come!!

Fail to plan, plan to fail....or just failed plans

Plot twist, plot twist, plot twist!!!
And let me be clear, nothing has gone wrong, plans just change!

Plans, plans are funny little things that

can and probably will change in an instant.

It keeps things exciting which is great

but it also shakes things up which is a little scary.

But nevertheless here we are, in the midst of changing plans.

You know I could come on this space

and dilly dally around the subject of my plans with Tom.

I could, I can, I have and I am...

dilly dallying...

I don't really like coming out with plans

until I am FOR SURE that they are happening.

I've come out with plans a tad too early on some occasions

and well...things changed and it was a letdown...

I'm looking at you American road trip 2014!!

This time our changing plans aren't a letdown at all.

In fact they are a let up if that's a thing.

I wish I could spill the beans but i'm going to need

you guys to hang in there for a little while longer

before I start spewing our secrets ;)

These plans aren't any safer than any of our other plans.

In fact one failed google search could end it all.

Well not it ALL but it could shake things up.

Like if we google a question about a visa and google

comes back with an answer we're not fond of...

That is when plans change, that is the root of all of our changes.

Google and all of it's wealth of knowledge can be real upsetting.

Then again Google can be real fun...
Thanks for all of your fun little games googs!!

I will say that I am feeling very excited about these new plans.

I think it puts Tom and I on a really good path and I'm

excited to see what happens when we really go for it!

See, here I am dilly dallying up a storm.

I hope to share more soon!

As soon as I'm 99.9% sure of our plans I'll be here chatting up a storm!!

:) :)

The visa struggle via gifs (UK version)

Hello everyone, I'm back, that's right, twice within the span of a week.

Impressive, I know!!!

Today I wanted to share a struggle that all international couples

have faced, will face or are currently facing...The visa struggle.

There is forum upon forum of couples explaining their visa process.

Some of them are wonderful stories full of hope while others

are pits of deep, dark despair that make you cry yourself to sleep.

Seriously!

Because with visa's it will either end well or end terribly, terribly bad.

Meaning you either get the visa or you don't and if you don't it's basically

the other country telling you that they're breaking up with you but you're

not even together yet...it's hurtful, i'm sure.

I can only speculate since it hasn't happened to Tom or myself...yet...and hopefully it never will.

We will be looking at visa's in the near future and so I just wanted to

share how terrifying the visa process is with all of you people's who will

never have to worry about getting one.

It will give you an inside look at what we have to do to be together.

This will be the UK Visa version, I'll do a US one next time.

And I'll use GIF's because they make everything better...

So you've found love, he/she is British, you're not and it's so amazing and you want to be together

forever and ever but you can't...not yet...because you need a VISA!!

via GIPHY

Yes, a Visa, but don't worry it's not bad, it's just basically the UK government

judging you and deciding if you're fit to live in their society...
No biggie..

 

via GIPHY

 But it's totally worth it because you get to be together!!! Hooray!!

via GIPHY

 Yes, get happy and get your wallet ready because it's about

$1500 to apply for the visa, plus another $200 if you want the process rushed..
but don't rush too much because your UK partner has to be making some serious money
6 months before you can even apply for the visa.
Then it takes another 3 or so months to get the visa...
Unless you rush it, if rushed it can take less time..
but they make no promises, you could pay extra
for the rush and it take just as much time as the regular way.

via GIPHY

So before you can apply for a visa in the UK

you're partner has to be making £18,600 a year ($30,000)...we know jobs are
scarce but you can do it...right??? Right, that's the spirit!!!
*(Average jobs in the UK make around £14-£17,000 annually)

via GIPHY

Also, don't forget that you have to reapply for that visa every 30 months

until you've lived there for 5 years AND THEN you can apply for another

visa to remain long term in that country...and then 10 years later...you apply again.

 And you pay every time...but it will be ok because your
spouse is making £18,600 or more. 

But keep in mind you could be sent back

to your home country if during the first five years abroad your spouse is making less than £18,600 6 months prior to you re-applying for the visa...
even if you're married...or have kids...you have to go go go...
Oh and if you have kids in the first 5 years abroad
then the amount you have to earn yearly gets increased per child...
So no kids for the next 5 years...noted!!

via GIPHY

No, no, don't cry...you get to be together, remember...where's that happy face??

via GIPHY

 But in order to be happy you have to leave your home, your family and friends...

via GIPHY

 Which leaves you feeling a little bit crazy...
Happy to be together, sad to be leaving...
happysadhappysadhappysad

via GIPHY

But listen, it's hard to leave but it doesn't mean you'll be gone forever.

The perk to being with someone from another country is you now

get to call two amazing places home. Plus all of the people that know you

now get a free place to stay if they come to the UK.

via GIPHY

So it's going to be hard and it's going to take time and patience

but at the end of it all you're taking a leap that many, many people

never get the chance to take and it's weird and new and scary but

it's also incredible and a huge blessing to be able to get a piece of

paper that let's you roam the earth with the one you love.
The money will be scarce and the wait will be hard but
man oh man how exciting it will be when you nestle
into that new adventure with your person.

via GIPHY

 USA Visa Struggle via GIFS will come atcha next time!!
And since this was fun maybe i'll do a post on the different types
of visa's and why they're all so terribly confusing!! 

Have a great day everyone!

An update on life/love

Hey blog land.

I owe you guys a pretty lengthy update don't I?

I'm not sure this will be lengthy but it will work for now.

Ok so Tom went home about a month ago.

The 6 months was up and so was his visa.

So he hopped on two planes and made his way back to England.

The 6 months went by so fast.

It's all a blur, a magical blur that was so wonderful.

It was nice having him here for so long and

now we can both say we know more about

each other's homes since we've both been able

to live on opposite sides of the world for 

an extended period of time.

Out of the almost 3 years that we've been together

we have spent a little over 1 full year together.

Which in the long distance world is pretty incredible.

Thanks to both of our parents for being so hospitable.

So here's a little bit of what's been happening since he left.

Tom has been looking for work, he's gone to multiple interviews

and he's currently in possession of one job. woohoo!

He is looking for full time work though so he's

still pounding the pavement, he had two interviews today

so he's doing really well!!

I'm still nannying/babysitting...whatever you want to call it.

I'm part time so I was looking for some work too.

I'm currently waiting to hear back from a Soccer Coaching

position for little kids that I can add to my load to give me full time status.

So this is new territory, we're both in our own countries 

and we're both working.

Usually one of us is here or there and only one of

us has a job while the other one doesn't.

So now we both have jobs because you need money

for the next steps that we are wanting to take.

The flying back in forth to be together phase of

our relationship has to come to an end at some point

because we really need to put down some roots if we're

ever going to both settle into jobs and life.

So as of right now there are no flights booked

and no plans in place.

We have plans, we just have to do a few things

before those plans can come to light.

So we're kind of in a logistical phase right now.

Figuring out the next steps one step at a time.

It's going to be the hardest part of our relationship because

it's possible that months and months may go by before

we're able to get together again and it's pretty heartbreaking.

But our optimism is strong and we're still making time

to skype and we text nonstop so we'll be ok, it will just be hard.

I'll try and keep this space more updated as we

figure things out and move towards bigger and better things!

Hope you all have a great day :)

-Emily-