Saturday, July 13, 2013

I'm not normally a violent person...

I'm going to give everyone a teeny tiny break from sappy Tomily posts...
That being said there will be more sappy Tomily posts tomorrow.

But today i want to tell you about last night.
Last night i found myself in a room.
A dark room that smelled like death.
I mean honestly someone or many someones had probably died in there.

Let me start from the beginning.
Yesterday was my first day back at the cupcake shack 
after a glorious three week break while Tom was here.
I was glad to be back at work, even had a little pep in my step.
I was mostly glad to be busy so i wouldn't sit around moping about Tom being gone ;)

I worked 3pm-9pm at one of our mall locations.
Our bakery is located in the food court.
I work at a seriously fancy job dontcha know ;)

The death room i'm speaking of is this alleyway in the back 
of all of the restaurants where the main doors are located.

After my shift had ended i headed to the back to turn off the lights
and go into the death room/back alley to lock up the shop.
I put my key in...I lock the door...and craptastic my key is stuck...
You should have seen me jiggle and jangle that idiot key.
I put my whole body into it.

And you know, i'm not normally a violent person but i'm pretty sure if that
door had been a person i would have put it in the hospital...
and the doctors would have had to put it in a medically induced coma
because i gave that door a serious whoopin!!

The key was stuck.
I decided to do what any person needing help in a mall would do...
hunt me down some mall security.

I just kept my ears open for the hum of a segway. 
And there he came...segwaying to my rescue...
When he finally got over to me i told him what was happening
and he jumped off his segway and came to the death room with me.
This kid was probably 18 years old...and had the most ridiculous texas accent i have ever heard.

Ok so heres how the conversation went...word for!!!
Mall Cop Man = MCM
Emily = Emily

Emily - Ok see it's stuck, i've been here for 10 minutes and it won't budge
MCM - hmmm well looks like your in a bit of a pickle ma'am.
{uhh yea you think??}
Emily - yes, so would you mind trying??
MCM - of course ma'am.
{He presumes to jiggle it for a total of....hmmm about 3 seconds and then he drops his head and says}
MCM - ma'am you've found yourself in a predicament. Let me call for backup.
{He proceeds to call for backup using his walkie talkie}
MCM - Captain this is sherif Jameson, we have a little lady with key stuck in her shop door.
{Captain? Sherif? You have got to be kidding me}
Captain - huh, well aint that a shame...sorry sherif, there's nothing we can do for her.
Just go ahead and give her the locksmiths number. 
MCM - alright captain, over and out.
Emily - well let me call my manager and see what she says.
{Manager says to keep trying...apparently this happens all the time}
Emily - ok so my manager wants me to keep trying...
{MCM stands there with me for about 15 seconds and then says..}
MCM - well ma'am flag me down if you need anything else.
and he leaves....

He leaves me in the death room alone.
The mall security left me in the DEATH ROOM alone.

I mean it was in that moment when he left that i started to panic a little.
I mean i'm not suggesting that scrawny little pop tart could have 
helped me in any way but two is always better than one!!

I shed a few tears because i knew this would be the last room i ever saw.
There was some sort of fog coming out of one of the doors which was alarming...
It was dark and damp and i just knew there was a murderer behind the corner.
Maybe i was being a bit dramatic....

But i did get really really upset because he should not have left me there alone.
I was a damsel in distress for goodness sake....i actually gave him something to do
other than roam the mall for the next hour...and he left me to die.
Shame on him and his segway!!!

Long story short after about 30 minutes i jiggled the key out and locked the door.
I then went back to him and in my most fearsome tone of voice 
asked for the locksmiths number.
He gave it to me and i left.

Thanks for nothing mall cop...thanks.for.nothing!

So that was my night :) Yippee...
Hope you got a laugh out of this is actually pretty hilarious



  1. I love your blog it is just so sweet. Well, except for the scary situation above. I actually found your blog when researching for a trip to Europe and, I kind of just got wrapped up in it.

    I put your button on my blog :)

  2. Haha I laughed so hard at everything he said in your conversation. I am glad no murderers got you!