Sunday, April 13, 2014

Rest in peace Grandpa Rex

On Saturday my sweet, sweet Grandpa went to heaven.
He was surrounded by his wife and kids when he 
passed which is just about the best way to go.

I'm so incredibly sad that he's gone.
When I left in January to come to England
I knew that I was likely getting my last hug and
saying my last goodbyes to him.

That was one of the hardest moments of my life.
But something in me had hope that maybe he'd be ok
and he'd be around when I got back home in June.

I haven't stopped thinking of that sweet man since
i've landed over here in England.

He's always been on my heart and as the months
passed I really started believing that I'd get my grandpa hug
when I got back to Texas.

I'm sad that I won't get to see him again but
I'm so very thankful that he's no longer in pain.
I know he's already having such a blast up there, 
jumping around and doing all of the things he hasn't
been able to do in such a long time.

My mom skyped me and told me.
I was sitting with Tom and I knew before she
even said anything that he was gone.
The tears came, I talked to my mom for a few minutes
while she was on her way to the hospital.

After hanging up with her I sat and cried
with Tom by my side.

Tom was amazing.
He stayed with me, cuddled me, held my hand,
brushed my hair, put his chilly hands on my boiling hot face.

He cuddled with me and I cried and talked through the emotion with him.
I told him stories about Granny and Grandpa as kids and what
Grandpa did for a living (He was a Firefighter).
We laughed at some silly things and then I cried
when I told him that when you hugged Grandpa and pressed
your ear up to his you always got a ringing from his hearing aid.
It's something that always made me smile
and now i'm devastated that I won't get those hugs anymore.

Grandpa was a tall man, really tall.
In the past few years he's been in a wheelchair.
But before that, when he'd stand up, he was a bit of a giant.
A really friendly giant.

As I said earlier, he was a firefighter.
A hero to all kinds of people and a hero to us.

He was an Elder at our church and he was
the most loving and kind man.

He set an incredible example to everyone around him
which is why it's not only my family in mourning but hundreds
of people who knew him and loved him almost as much as we did.

I'll never forget his hugs or the way he'd hold my hand and give it a kiss.
I'll remember the days we all sat around the table to eat or play rummikub.
I'll remember his prayers for the rest of my life because
he always started and ended them in the same way.

He's watched me grow up into an adult.
He's laughed with me, prayed with and for me,
and been an amazing example for me in everything.

It's not going to be the same without him
but he will live on in us for as long as we live.

While Tom and I sat together last night I remember something
that gave me so much joy and pain at the same time.

A few days ago when Grandpa was leaving the Hospital
my dad recorded a short video of him and sent it to me via Glide.
Glide never tells me when I have a message so I forgot about it until
last night when I went to check and found a video of Grandpa.

He was in bed telling me hi, and I love you and I'm going home.
Home being his house but now he's really gone home.

It made me sob, but also made me so happy.
I got to see him and hear him again and I was so glad I had that moment.

Then today while I was on my way to Church I was reading some of my
book 'Cold Tangerines' I was on a new chapter and as I began reading the chapter
I realized that the chapter was all about her husbands grandfather passing away.

She told her story and gave comforting words for people going through loss.
It was so crazy how in that moment of grief a random chapter out
of a random book pulled me in and gave me comfort.

I like to call that a God thing.

My Grandpa was an amazing man.
I can't wait to tell my kids and grandkids
about the amazing man that they sadly weren't able to meet,
but they will have a complete understanding of the 
wonderful man he was while he was here.

I'm going to miss him so very much.
RIP Grandpa Rex

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