The first day | One year ago

Did you guys know that yesterday was the yeariversary

of the day Tom and I met...like met met...like real life met??

June 19th, 2013

I don't really remember the day because I was such a hot mess!!

I woke up in a panic, I was a few hours away from meeting my British Dreamboat,

So panic was my one and only plan for that day.

Panic because it might not be what we thought.

When you're talking to someone online

there is always something in the back of your mind

that say's "STAY ALERT" just in case red flags go a flailin.

I never once had a red flag moment with Tom

because we were both really honest and really real with each other.

But that did not stop me from panicking the day he would arrive.

I've told this guy that I love him, before i even met him.

That's not really something I told a lot of people for fear that

they would look at me like I was totally crazy.

But I did love him, the idea of him, being exactly what I thought he was.

Luckily what I thought he was, was what he was and well...I still love him.

I love him even more now than I did a year ago.

But while I waited in that waiting area at the airport

the only thing that was running through my mind was what if this doesn't work.

What if he's not what you expected, what if I'm not what he expected.

I mean I put myself through the ringer that day.

Questioning everything that i could possibly question.

Would this work? Are we right for each other? What will he kiss like?

Smell like? Be like in person? Will he like me? Will I like him?

Will we still want this once we meet?

Well as you all know, I didn't need to worry ;)

After he walked through that weird circular door

we started over, we started fresh.

It was as if I had never seen this person before.

I knew him, and his backstory but this was in the flesh.

This was new, this was unlike anything either of us had ever experienced.

We hugged, awkwardly.

We kissed, even MORE awkwardly.

And then we took this super awkward first photo...

We held hands, we poked each other, we got his bags,

we got in my car, and we drove away from the airport in an awkward haze.

I mean I was SO EXCITED that he was in Texas

but I was also SO NERVOUS that this was not going to work.

I had my guard up really really high.

It wasn't until his second day in Texas that

I ripped my guard down and took a different approach.

I was so concerned with this not working for that first day and a half

that I almost, ALMOST gave up on us.

It was never my intention to give up on us that quickly.

I know why I felt that way, I was terrified of letting my guard down,

of letting someone in, of really falling in love.

Falling in love is scaarryy and it was my first time really putting myself

into a long term committed relationship and I just didn't know what to do.

But like I said I put my guard down significantly and just let it happen.

Fast forward three weeks later and I'm in tears and absolutely devastated that

the love of my life was leaving me so soon.

I mean I really kicked it into gear in those three weeks ;)

I could not imagine life without Tom.

He makes me over the moon happy on a daily basis

and I'm SO glad I listened to myself and let myself

relax and feel the love that Tom had for me.

It has been the most magical year ever since that

awkward airport day last June.

Here's to many many more years of Tomily to come

:)